everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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