Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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