Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize