How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
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