Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
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I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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