Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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