you would pick up someone in the library
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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