she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
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We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
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You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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