Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
being pregnant is like rehab
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
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