Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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