let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize