So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
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Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
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Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
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