this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize