So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
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I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
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How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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