i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
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In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
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"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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