I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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