My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
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