Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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