She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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