I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize