just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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