Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
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