Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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