do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize