i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
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