just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
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i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
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I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
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