well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
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I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
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I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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