But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
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That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
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I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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