if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize