I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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