There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Randomize