I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize