Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
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