birth control should be required to get into college
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize