sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
why does every cop we meet know your name?
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