ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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