I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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