Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
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Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
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I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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