lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
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the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
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Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
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