If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
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