Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize