a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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