And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize