he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
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