Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
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Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
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