The maid of honor just puked.
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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