You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
bring money and cleavage
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
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