Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
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