so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
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I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
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I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
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