i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
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