ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize