just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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